Becoming Mo

I fall flat on my face more times than I can count.

I goof.

I overthink.

I freeze.

I fumble.

I say the wrong thing or say nothing at all.

I mess up in parenting, relationships, self-care — you name it.

But guess what I’ve discovered?

It’s okay.

I’m not God.

I’m not the perfect mom, sister, daughter, friend or wife. And maybe… I was never meant to be.

The Bible says that when God completed creation, He looked at everything and said it was good.

Not perfect.

Just good.

So when God made me – this beautiful, complicated, emotional, sometimes unsure, always trying human – He called me good too.

So why exactly have I been killing myself trying to be perfect?

Perfect in how I speak.

Perfect in my relationships.

Perfect in parenting.

Perfect in how I’m perceived.

If I’m being honest, I haven’t been the version of myself I imagined I’d be – for as long as I can remember. And now, approaching 40, I’m still trying to figure out who I am. Not the version others see. Not the filtered, well-spoken one. But the real Mo.

Sometimes I feel the eyes of family watching from a distance, the unspoken disapproval from aunts and uncles. I feel the pressure of little ones who look up to me – expecting grace and wisdom I haven’t fully figured out for myself.

But here’s the thing: nobody has that much time to watch or judge me that closely.

We’re all enrolled in this school called life – and it’s a deeply personal journey. Yes, we form bonds, build relationships, share seasons… but ultimately, each of us walks our own path, hand-in-hand with God.

He is the loving Father, the principal, the judge, and the guide.

And maybe it’s time I stopped trying to mold myself into someone for everyone else – and just started becoming… for Him.

Looking up to God should be my compass – not looking sideways for validation.

It’s my birthday in a few days. (No, not 40 yet!)

And when this realization hit, I’ll be honest – it felt like I’d wasted years.

But now I see it differently.

It’s better I’m seeing this now – even if late, even if painful – than to never come into it at all.

So, I’m choosing something new:

Grace over guilt.

Growth over performance.

Becoming over pretending.

Baby steps, Mo.

You’ve got this love!

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. – 2 Corinthians 12:9